Pointlessification. It’s everywhere.

Ordering a coffee now requires an interview. Buying toothpaste needs research. Your toaster would like a touchscreen and your eyebrows apparently require laminating.

This is pointlessification: the process of taking something ordinary, useful and perfectly manageable—and “improving” it until nobody knows what the hell is going on.

Here, I examine one example at a time and award it the only measure that matters: its Ridiculosity Rating.

No expert advice. No five-step life plan. Just honest observations from someone who has lived long enough to remember when objects worked without passwords.